dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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