I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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