I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
