either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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