Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
