every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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