She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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