I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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