im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
