I feel like abortions should bother me more
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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