Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
