Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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