my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
