Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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