My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
