All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
