Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
