don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
ok first of all what the fuck
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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