So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I've blown a few things in my day
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
