May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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