one two three fourrrrnication!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
