Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
