It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
