Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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