I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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