Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
