When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
