u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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