Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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