We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
