I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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