I just cut my nipple shaving
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
