There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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