The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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