Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the gays at disneyland are vicious
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
