That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
