I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
