umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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