So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
