they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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