I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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