he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
