I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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