she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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