New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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