I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
