You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize