I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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