You smell like stripper and shame
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
