There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
