You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
