I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
