Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
