Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
