Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize