someone get that fucking seahorse.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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