There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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