i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
