Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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