Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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