so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
