i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
