dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
my shit smells like andre
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
