i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
