she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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