is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
