Already got asked if we're dating
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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